


Collateral Damage

by SeaburyQueen



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen, Gender or Sex Swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 00:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4807556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaburyQueen/pseuds/SeaburyQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Titans tend to leave a lot of damaged buildings in their wake. Beast Girl tends to leave a lot of damaged hearts in hers. That is, until Mr. He's-Not-Like-the-Others comes along. Of course, to the Raven, they're all the same on the inside. Gender-flipped AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Collateral Damage

His name was Jesse.

Beast Girl first met him at The Horseshoe, a diner in the heart of Jump City that had earned the appreciation of the Titans for a couple of reasons. Due to its prime location, The Horseshoe was often one of the first establishments to sustain collateral damage during the Titans' fights against evil. The owner knew that keeping the Titans around was excellent business, so while he tolerated their presence at The Horseshoe throughout the years and reconstructions, he insisted that all freshly hired waiters had any paparazzi tendencies beaten out of them during training so that they could act as condescendingly as possible whenever serving the teenaged heroes. This backfired: the Titans were glad to be spared the star-struck attitude when all they wanted was a goddamn slice of pizza.

The other reason that the Titans loved The Horseshoe was the goddamn pizza itself. The Horseshoe's Wagon Wheel special was two feet in diameter and thus the only pizza in the city that could satisfy the  _very_  diverse tastes of all five Titans.

Jesse cut class with a few of his friends and had been loitering in a corner booth for the better part of an hour when Beast Girl popped in for a chocolate soy milkshake. In a group of cute older boys, he was the cutest. He had a lip ring! Beast Girl kept swiveling around on her stool to glance at them—at him.

After nearly ten minutes of silent back-and-forth between Beast Girl and the boys, Beast Girl working the straw of her milkshake for all it was worth, Jesse turned out to be the only one with enough balls to go over and hit on her. After all, this was a girl who could turn into a tiger and rip out your jugular should she find your advances unpleasant. He went with the oblivious "Come here often?" route, which was generally complete bullshit because Beast Girl was bright green and vaguely elven and thus had no hope of maintaining any form of secret identity. Still, being mistaken for a normal girl was a method that never failed to charm her. The dreaded ringing of the Titans communicator soon separated the two, but before she left, Beast Girl scribbled down her civilian number, popped a piece of bubblegum into Jesse's mouth, and said, "See you later, cutie."

Beast Girl had another new boyfriend.

In theory, civilians were allowed to visit the Tower, but in reality, Robin was Robin, so Beast Girl and Jesse hit the town. The old amusement park at the edge of the city, the movie theater, and once the summer came, the beach and clubs. Sometimes Cyborg and Robin tagged along. Once, Beast Girl even talked Robin and Starfire into a double date, which failed to free their relationship from the holding pattern it seemed to be stuck in but at least gave Cy and Beast Girl new teasing ammo for whenever Robin got particularly annoying during training sessions. Beast Girl's relationships could usually be counted in weeks, and those weeks on one hand, but this one was turning into months, and the Titans were getting to know Jesse pretty well.

All of the Titans except for one.

The Raven.

The Raven never warmed to any of Beast Girl's romantic exploits. He was usually aggressively indifferent: after all, a new one would cycle through eventually. In the early days, the Raven simply ignored Beast Girl's invitations to meet Jesse, stalking off to his room or teleporting there directly whenever she asked. However, Team Jesse had made it to the playoffs, so to speak. The gossip blogs were on fire: this was Beast Girl's longest relationship  _evah_. No doubt, they had eloped, Beast Girl was pregnant, and Jesse would move into the Tower any day now to undergo training in witchcraft and alien kung fu or whatever it was the other two male Titans did.

No longer able to ignore the existence of Jesse and Beast Girl's relationship, the Raven snapped completely in the other direction and became obsessively critical of it. The Raven hacked into Jesse's grades and informed the team that he had received C-minuses in both French and Calculus in the spring semester, an invasion of privacy that had really raised Beast Girl's hackles. Not yet sated, he investigated further and found several R.A. and campus security reports that indicated Jesse was quite the heavy (underage) drinker. The Raven was on the verge of tipping off the civ police until Cy, thank God, found out before Beast Girl did and put an end to the whole operation.

The Raven's favorite criticism was the age difference. Jesse was nineteen, while Beast Girl wouldn't be seventeen until the end of the summer. How could a red-blooded college male have any honorable intentions with a girl her age? When he first tried that line on Beast Girl, she immediately pointed out that the Raven was the same age (as far as any of them could tell) and they were together all the time, to which the Raven responded "But I'd never  _date_  you!" The other Titans expected her to retort "Like I'd even give you the option!" or something of that ilk and were quite surprised when Beast Girl looked offended—even hurt—by the comment and sulked for the next three days.

Beast Girl often ranted about the Raven's behavior to Jesse. Beast Girl was fed up with the Raven's actions but completely unaware of their implications. However, it was clear to Jesse that  _somebody_  was jealous. That  _somebody_  was after _his_ girl. Oh, the Raven didn't like him?

Fine. It was mutual.

Jesse and Beast Girl had now been together for nearly four months, and Jesse was starting to get frustrated. Dating Beast Girl had so few pros and so many cons. Sure, half of Jump City knew his face and name, including some  _very_  pretty girls. Sure, Beast Girl was very pretty herself, but she was beginning to get unexpectedly clingy for a party girl, and they  _still_  hadn't had sex or anything close to it. It had been off the table at first, since they were constantly in the public eye. Anything more than a chaste kiss on a park bench or a quick snog in the corner of a club would have sent the media into a lustful frenzy. However, Jesse had been sneaking Beast Girl into his bedroom when his parents weren't around, and she had only just begun letting him unhook her bra. Teenage dream of Jump City or not, it was getting ridiculous.

All Beast Girl seemed to want to do was talk about herself. Or just talk, in general. Jesse wouldn't say he had  _stopped_  paying attention, exactly; just that he had never started. Usually, she would spout some nonsense about him being in college and him graduating from college and her maybe going to college and so on, essentially planning the next five years of her life. Even through a haze of apathy, Jesse couldn't shake the nagging sensation that he was an indispensable part of Beast Girl's five-year plan, and that simply did not fly with him. He wanted his relationship with her to be a stepping-stone, not a tombstone. After all, Jesse was something of a  _petit fromage_  now, and he had grander delusions to pursue.

Sometimes Beast Girl seemed suspicious of Jesse's motives, like when he lingered too long in front of cameras or cut her off with a brusque "Don't overthink everything" when her words tended towards the future tense. Sometimes there was a hesitation before she allowed Jesse's hands to wander, and it seemed as if she was fighting a very quick little battle with herself. But Jesse and Beast Girl's more animalistic side always won in the end.

Beast Girl and Jesse's four-month anniversary was at the end of the week. (The Tower's resident Latin scholar wasted no time in informing everyone that anniversaries only came about once a  _year_ , for fuck's sake, but Cy and Robin quickly shushed him.) On Monday, Jesse texted Beast Girl and ever so casually mentioned his parents would be in another part of the state from Thursday to Sunday. Empty house, how about that? He got a phone call in response, asking him to dinner on Friday night.

At The Horseshoe.

"We haven't been here together since we met, you know."

Jesse sat with Beast Girl—or Garnet, as he actually called her, since her heroine appellation was a little awkward in a romantic setting. Indeed, it was their first coupled visit to The Horseshoe since that day months ago. They were sitting in a booth with no special measures of privacy, and the other diners were  _very_ aware of their presence but desperately trying to play it cool. OMG, Beast Girl and Jesse! They snapped photos and texted them to their friends as covertly as they could.

Jesse regarded her over his veggie burger (in attempts to further their physical relationship he had recently gone vegan, or at least while Beast Girl was watching). She'd been acting strange the whole night: one minute shy and reserved, which was not like her at all, and the next minute she'd be back to her flirty and direct self. She was in the first mode now, not looking at Jesse as she spoke, but fiddling with the straw of her milkshake.

"I know, Gar," Jesse said smoothly. "I remember when we first met, I was so nervous to go over and talk to you—"

One of his friends had asked, "Hey, do you think the carpet matches the drapes? Bet she's a real  _animal_  in bed," and nodded his head in the direction of Beast Girl sitting at the counter. They argued for ten minutes over whether any of them had a shot with her—she had a loose reputation, but they were a bunch of townies—before Jesse bet one hundred bucks he could at least get to second base. He figured he'd be sacrificing a month's allowance, but things went  _really_ well, and now here they were. In fact, Jesse even had several hundred more riding on a home run.

"—you're just so gorgeous," he finished.

She blushed, which was always a curious sight on a green girl. She was wearing a dark purple shirt tonight. Fashion blogs would later praise the flattering color, but Jesse was more interested in the low cut. The greenery was  _nice_ , but what were the odds he'd get an unobstructed view?

"So, what are we doing tonight?" he tried, expecting the usual answer. Clubbing or the amusement park or something totally  _public_  before she'd be back to that damned Tower that kept her locked up tighter than Rapunzel. No way she'd want to take advantage of an empty house the way any sensible girl would.

"Well, aren't we going to watch a movie," she began— _God_ —"at your place? Alone," she added, somewhat unnecessarily.

Jesse stared. Beast Girl was in some sort of new mode now, still blushing but regarding Jesse with an intensity that betrayed the real meaning behind her seemingly innocent words.  _Well_. "Watch a movie." He'd heard  _that_  one before.

"Yeah. We sure are."

"Great," she smiled lopsidedly, showing one of her pointed canines, casual and fun again.

"Hey, babe, I'm going to go powder my nose. Don't go anywhere."

Beast Girl stood up and trotted off to the restroom, tight jeans making the back view just as sweet as the front and even sweeter in light of recent developments. Maybe when she got back they could just check-please and go right home. Vegan milkshakes did nothing for him anyway. Now Beast Girl's milkshake, on the other hand…

A pointed tap on the shoulder and a sudden chill down his spine jolted him from his reverie. He turned around to confront the intruder.

"Hello there,  _Mr. Levesque_."

He had swapped costume for dark jeans and a black sweatshirt, hood pulled up, but just like Beast Girl could never realistically maintain a secret identity, the Raven couldn't hide his distinguishing features. He really gave Jesse the creeps. Black, unruly hair contrasted against skin so pale it was nearly grey. The little gem set on his forehead looked like a third eye to Jesse: a third eye to a pair that glowed demonic red. He was quite tall as he stood over Jesse, grinning ferally, so Jesse stood up to match him in height but still fell short by several inches.

This could be a mild setback.

"Raven, how's it going, bro?" Jesse asked in such a way that indicated he had no interest whatsoever in knowing the answer. The Raven extended his hand, and the two spent a few moments trying to break each other's fingers before they disengaged.

"Oh, no, no, no," the Raven said, "It's _the_  Raven. You can't forget the The. It's very important, you see." With that,  _the_  Raven slid into Beast Girl's side as if he had been there all along and this wasn't, you know, a  _date_. For  _two people_. Jesse sat back down as well.

"What are you doing here?" Jesse forged ahead. "Garnet and I are on a date, she didn't mention that you were scheduled to make an appearance."

"I'm not with you," the Raven said, "I was just here on my own, hoping to get a steak. I like my meat  _rare_. How about you?"

"Garnet doesn't eat meat. Neither do I."

"Isn't that something! You're the first of her many, many,  _many_  (fifteen, twenty?) boyfriends to actually bite the vegan hook. No wonder you've lasted so long! Four months? I applaud your tenacity. You must have great expectations for this relationship."

Jesse glared.

"Anyway, I saw you sitting here, and since we haven't met yet, I thought I'd introduce myself, endure some small talk, find out what we have in common."

"Like what?" Jesse said coolly.

"Well, I see you have a piercing," the Raven said. "I have one too." Indeed he did, his left eyebrow.

"I think piercing stories are so fun to share. Personally, I received mine in my home dimension of Azarath in a temple ritual. First, the priests took a special piercing tool made from a metal that can't be found on this planet and heated it in the fire of our sun. Then, they threaded it through my eyebrow, and I wore it in that white-hot state for a period of nine days before they inserted the traditional holy jewelry. I was six."

"What about you? I expect you stole one of your mother's Vicodin and held your friend's hand throughout the procedure."

As a matter of fact, that was exactly what had happened, not that Jesse intended to confirm it.

"So, where's B.G. gone, anyway?"

"Garnet's in the restroom."

"Fantastic. That will take forever. I have all the time I need to get to know you inside and out. Or should I say… outside and in?"

For a moment, the Raven looked directly at Jesse. Blue eyes met red, and in that unnatural color, Jesse caught a brief glimpse of probing empathy, followed by an even briefer flash of something inhuman. Before Jesse's mortal mind had time to truly process any of it, the Raven was once again grinning wildly.

 _For Chrissakes, it even looks as if he has_ fangs! Jesse thought viciously. The Raven's eyes were redder than before, and in the shadow cast by his hood, it looked almost as if a second pair glowed above the first. Jesse noticed with a start that the air around the Raven's head was crackling with static, and little black tendrils of some substance unknown had begun to creep across the table. It seemed that at any moment they would snake out and catch Jesse by the throat.

The situation was rapidly degenerating. He was really wigging. Where, oh where on this sweet earth, was Garnet?

" _RAVEN!_ "

Not even an enraged hippo could have matched Beast Girl's bellow as she marched up to the Raven with a thunderous expression. To Jesse, her arrival was more glorious than that of a herd of Valkyries. The other diners, who had slowly been noticing the showdown occurring between Jesse and the Raven, fell into a frenzied hush and got ready for something even  _better._

"Just  _what_  do you think you're doing, Raven?" she accused, jamming a painted nail into his nose for emphasis. His hood fell back to reveal his face, and the blackness and static vanished, much to Jesse's relief.

"I've decided to meet your boyfriend," he replied, looking affronted. "What's wrong with that?"

"You aren't here to meet him, you're here to antagonize him!" Beast Girl snarled. "This is just like what you tried to do to Marc! And Joey! And Justin, and Julien, and Jason, and Jake, and Ja _cob_ , and…"

"They were no good, the lot of them," the Raven cut in, unruffled by Beast Girl's anger. Jesse looked slightly disturbed at the length of the list of his predecessors. "They just wanted to get into your pants."

Every smartphone camera in the vicinity was trained on the trio. No doubt the scene would go viral before the end of the evening.

" _Jesse's not like that,"_ hissed Beast Girl. The Raven opened his mouth to retort, but Beast Girl charged ahead. "Who do you think you are, anyways? My brother? Your opinions have  _no_  bearing on my love life or on  _any_ part of my personal life, and you need to get out of it and stay there!"

" _Au contraire_ , Beast Girl. We're on a  _team_. For all intents and purposes I  _am_ your brother, and for the sake of that team and the job  _we_ have to do protecting the city, it's  _my_  job to keep you out of trouble—especially with  _boys_!" No longer calm, the Raven rose to his feet and slammed his fist on the table to punctuate his last word.

"Do you think I'm so unprofessional that I'm completely incapable of keeping my personal relationships and my duties as a Titan separate?" she spat back. "You've never done this to Cy or to Robin! I don't need this kind of interference either! You have no right to do this to me, to follow me around, to mess with my  _boyfriend,_ who clearly respects me more than  _you,_ my  _teammate_ , ever has!" Beast Girl moved to stand by the boyfriend in question, who was still seated and terrified and generally being no help at all.

"For Azar's sake!" the Raven shouted, completely exasperated. "Do you even know what he  _really_ thinks of you? Because let me tell you, there's only one thing he's got on his mind tonight. By the way, do you want to know how much  _money_ he's  _bet_  on it?"

You could have heard a pepperoni drop in that diner. It was abundantly clear that  _both_ young men were now about to die horribly. It was simply a matter of whom Beast Girl was going to kill first.

"You've been READING his  _THOUGHTS?_ " Beast Girl howled, deciding upon her teammate—hoes before bros, and all that. She grabbed Jesse's nearly full milkshake and hurled it at the Raven's head, but it went wide and nearly splattered a table full of teenagers, who were too engrossed in the drama to mind whatsoever. Her next throw was much better aimed, but the Raven simply used his powers to halt and shatter the projectile before it reached him.

Beast Girl soon ran out of her own dinnerware and began to seize some from the other tables, the occupants of which had long ago taken her side in the battle against Evil Men with Facial Piercings. They cheered her on with cries of "Atta girl!" and "You show him!" and assisted by dumping the food from their plates before handing them to Beast Girl for her next throw. The appetizer plates were even horseshoe-shaped, very conducive to flinging at people's heads. The Raven was doing a bang-up job of dodging or destroying the flying tableware, but it wasn't long before a utensil finally made it past his defenses.

"Ah," he winced as a knife grazed his cheek and blood welled in the wound. The somewhat carnival-like atmosphere of the past few minutes died down as people waited to see what would happen now that blood had been drawn.

The Raven's mouth set into a very thin line as his magic slowly healed the cut on his face.

"Fine, Beast Girl," he said, his voice almost concealing his fury. "You're so wise, so happy not knowing the depraved inner thoughts of every last boy you think will respect you half as much as I—as the  _Titans_  do. I'll let you two be."

"But don't come crying to me when he fucks you and flees!"

The diner collectively gasped as the Raven raised an arm high, cloaked himself in his dark magic and teleported away.

The silence after his departure was astounding. Some patrons busied themselves with saving their videos and submitting them to their gossip blog of choice, hoping to get the most views and maybe some sweet ad revenue. Others glared and muttered under their breath at Jesse, who awkwardly stood to comfort Beast Girl. She was a statue, head down, fists clenched.

"Gar," Jesse began to say. Beast Girl raised her head and met his gaze with doubt and residual anger, but mostly sadness. Jesse reached for her waist, his hands landing far too low. She shoved him away, her hair fanning around her face like a mane.

" _Fuck off_ ," she growled, green eyes burning like venom. She ran, pushing through people, her tears, and finally the glass doors that led to the balcony. Beast Girl easily scaled the railing, transformed into a peregrine falcon and plummeted from view.

Now only poor impotent Jesse remained in the diner, trying to hide his face and desperately wishing that  _nobody_  in Jump City knew his name. Finally, somebody approached him: a waitress.

"Your check," she said in tones icier than the dark side of Triton. Jesse's eyes boggled when he saw the figure at the bottom.

For once, the Titans would not be paying for collateral damage at The Horseshoe.

**Author's Note:**

> The Raven was inspired by David Fernandez's gender-flipped Titans, especially the The. (You can't forget the The. It's very important, you see.) Beast Girl arose fully formed from our conscience collective. As for Jesse Levesque… well, it's all there in the name.


End file.
